Why do ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures
Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the Boos.
What is in a ghost’s nose? Boo-gers.
Why did the policeman ticket the ghost on Halloween? It didn’t have a haunting license.
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? Because demons are a ghoul's best friend!
Why did the ghost starch his sheet? He wanted everyone scared stiff.
What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!
What's a ghost's favorite dessert? I-Scream!
Where do ghosts buy their food? At the ghost-ery store!
How do you know when a ghost is sad? He starts boo hooing.
Why don’t mummies take time off? They’re afraid to unwind.
Why did the headless horseman go into business? He wanted to get ahead in life.
What kind of music do mummies like listening to on Halloween? Wrap music.
Why don’t mummies have friends? Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves.
Why did the vampire read the newspaper? He heard it had great circulation.
How do vampires get around on Halloween? On blood vessels.
What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire? It’s a pain in the neck.
What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house? A grave problem.
How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery? All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.
Why do skeletons have low self-esteem? They have no body to love.
Know why skeletons are so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
What do you call a cleaning skeleton? The grim sweeper.
What do skeletons order at a restaurant? Spare ribs.
What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet.
What kind of food would you find on a haunted beach? A sand-witch!
What was the witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling.
What do you call two witches who live together? Broom-mates!
What's a witch's favorite makeup? Ma-scare-a.
Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road safely? The crossing gourd.
What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween? Candy corneas.
What type of plants do well on all Hallow’s Eve? Bam-BOO!
What do birds say on Halloween? "Trick or tweet!"
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no-body to go with.
Where do ghosts buy their Halloween candy? At the ghost-ery store!
What do owls say when they go trick or treating? "Happy Owl-ween!"
What do ghosts give out to trick or treaters? Booberries!
Who did Frankenstein go trick or treating with? His ghoul friend.
What Halloween candy is never on time for the party? Choco-LATE!
What do witches put on to go trick or treating? Mas-scare-a.
What does Bigfoot say when he asks for candy? "Trick-or-feet!"
Which type of pants do ghosts wear to trick or treat? Boo jeans.
What makes trick or treating with twin witches so challenging? You never know which witch is which!
What happens when a vampire goes in the snow? Frost bite!
What do you call two witches living together? Broommates
What position does a ghost play in hockey? Ghoulie.
What do mummies listen to on Halloween? Wrap music.
How do you make a skeleton laugh? You tickle his funny bone!
Which Halloween monster is good at math? Count Dracula!
Why did the Cyclops give up teaching? He only had one pupil!
Why didn't the skeleton go to see a scary movie? He didn't have the guts.
What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost? "You sure are boo-tiful!"
Where does Dracula keep his money? In a blood bank.
Why are ghosts terrible liars? You can see right through them!
Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid to unwind.
What is a vampire's favorite holiday, besides Halloween? Fangs-giving!
Where do fashionable ghosts shop? Bootiques!
What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet!
What room does a ghost not need? A living room.
What monster plays tricks on Halloween? Prank-enstein!
What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream.
What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal? "Bone Appetit!"
What is a vampire's favorite fruit? A neck-tarine!
What do witches put on their bagels? Scream cheese.
What do ghosts eat for dinner? Spook-ghetti!
What do skeletons order at restaurants? Spare ribs.
What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!
What tops off a mummy’s ice cream sundae? Whipped scream.
What’s a ghost's favorite yogurt flavor? Boo-berry!
What’s a vampire’s least favorite meal? A steak!
Why was the candy corn booed off the stage? All of his jokes were too corny!
EOD


Thank you CountryLiving 1-33
https://www.countryliving.com/entertaining/a32963261/halloween-jokes/

Thank you GoodHousekeeping 34-72
https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/holidays/halloween-ideas/a32998753/halloween-jokes/